Working for Love AND Money | Your 2013 Mantra

I know deep down you know how valuable you are. You’re smart, you’re fast. You’re well loved. You have degrees and credentials. And experience. You can look back on your career and tick off a passel of accomplishments. You are a store of value and the shelves are stocked full.

So why are you:

• Working for free?
• Saying yes to women’s professional organizations that don’t pay their speakers?
• Accepting lowball salary offers?
• Taking on more and more projects without some kind of trade off, concession, or compensation?

By far, the most repeated responses to those questions are:

• “I really wanted to work for this organization, and I was afraid they’d pass me over if I asked for more.”
• “I love my job. I’m fine right where I am.”
• “It’s a good marketing opportunity.”
• “I know that when I give freely, the universe will take care of me.

Yikes. That one in the middle gets me. How did, “I love my job,” get collapsed with, “You don’t need to pay me”?

Well, we want to be of service, sure. We want to be generous, absolutely. And we want to trust that the world is just (“Someone will protect us.”) Hmm.Straight up, that’s how the culture expects us to respond.

If you are doubtful about the link between your self worth and your net worth, and if you really have never asked for your top salary, or asked and received your top fee consistently, you’re killing yourself financially, and kidding yourself emotionally.

Every time you say yes to anything but your top value, you do three things:

1. Demonstrate your lack of self worth.
2. Model to other women how to give yourself away.
3. Whittle down your ability to be self-sufficient.

Stuff happens, ladies. The economy tanks. A flood wipes out our house. We get sick. Or our partner becomes disabled. We get a divorce. Somebody dies. We certainly can’t control all these events, but the one thing we can do is make sure there’s more than a whisper’s width between thriving, surviving and the street.

So, in addition to your mantra for 2013, here are some useful stock phrases:

• I’m one of your most valuable managers and I appreciate all the recognition and support you’ve given me over time. I’d like to become even more valuable to you by asking you to give me a 20 percent raise.
• I’d like to talk about translating all the extra work I did last year into a raise this year.
• I’m willing to negotiate the payment terms, but I can’t afford to lower my fee.
• I’m willing to work for half my hourly rate if you’ll refer me to three full paying clients by the end of the month.
• Thanks for asking me to speak. I’d love to. How can I help you work with your sponsors so you can afford to compensate me?

2013 is about waking up, getting conscious, and making this the year we fall in love with our power to excel. The well-being we create for ourselves will help someone else rise up alongside us. And that’s what working for love and money really looks like in action.