It's OK to Express Anger
The truth shall set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Gloria Steinem
We're all a little afraid of conflict. Men and women both want their days to pass without having accusations hurled at them, without hearing what a frenemy is saying behind their backs, and without stirring their colleagues or clients to anger.
Women, however, do tend to react to a negotiation challenge somewhat more fearful of an angry response than do men. I've said before that men can claim to be unemotional only because they don't believe anger to be an emotion and I think there's more truth to that than humor.
Only low-power negotiators are strongly influenced by their opponent’s expressions of anger.
If you’re stressed about your negotiation partner getting angry at you, don't worry. Research cited by the Harvard Program on Negotiation shows that only low-power negotiators are strongly influenced by their opponent’s expressions of anger. Those negotiators who didn't trust their own power made larger concessions when anger was expressed but high power negotiator barely seemed to notice the other side’s emotions. They identified their own true bargaining interests and offered only the concessions necessary to reach a good deal.
Those negotiators who didn't trust their own power made larger concessions when anger was expressed but high power negotiators barely seemed to notice the other side’s emotions.
Yes you can
. . . . outsmart, outplay, outrun, outthink, them
Here's the best news, anyone who wishes can gain the "high power" advantage
According to Harvard, our best strategy, particularly if we're anticipating an emotional response, is to reflect on a time when we negotiated with a lot of bargaining power. Remember that time when you’d already landed a new job but thought to re-negotiate your contract with the old boss before making your exit? Think of that. Recall the sense of confidence and control that gave you.
Generating psychological power can immunize us from an opponent’s angry tactics.
Don’t be afraid of your own emotional reactions to the stress of negotiating compensation. Sometimes, it pays to let the other guy know you’re pissed.