A Super Secret of Savvy Negotiators

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When people estimate their value to their company by the results that their work has produced, they often hesitate sharing that information.

“I can’t prove that,” they say, and being unable to “prove” it, they feel unable or unwilling to take credit for it.

Here’s the super secret of all great negotiators: You don’t have to prove something that justifies what you want; all you have to do is say it. 

When you’re negotiating, you’re not in a court of law. You’re rarely making statements of fact that could land you in hot water for fraud if they prove to be untrue. You’re stating an opinion, and no less an authority than the Supreme Court of the United States has said there is no such thing as a false opinion.

In common parlance, you’re puffing. The social science research confirms that appearances are reality.

In one experiment, students were asked to cut in line at a local Kinkos. One group was told to give no reason, one a good reason, and one a nonsensical reason.

• Can I cut in line?

• Can I cut in line? My mother’s in the hospital, and I need to get these papers copied before I can go see her.

• Can I cut in line? I need to.

Here are the compliance rates:

• No reason: 40%

• A good reason: 98%

• A nonsensical reason: 97%

So, go ahead. Take credit for last quarter’s increase in net profits even if you can’t prove it. You don’t have to file a declaration under penalty of perjury or testify under oath on the witness stand. You're highly unlikely to be cross-examined because your negotiation partner can't prove that your causal assertion is untrue. Millions of years of “common sense” support your assertion that correlation iscausation.

It’s not. But it might as well be.

Feel free to try out these strategies and tactics at home with the people closest to you. Can’t agree on a movie? Be willing to walk away if your choice isn’t met. Give a reason, any reason, why your choice would be better for everyone, not just for yourself. 

Understand that the push-back you’re getting is just an opportunity to problem-solve in a way that satisfies your interests and the other party’s interests at the same time. Do this at home, and then try it out with that raise you haven’t gotten for the past five years. 

Happy negotiating!

P.S. - We've awarded this month's complimentary consultation (courtesy of a wonderfully generous client) and have emailed all who nominated themselves or others. We're rotating the categories each month and picking names using an online random name picker - all in an attempt to gift these consultations equitably. Keep an eye out next week for the category for June!