Encouragement for working Women

You Are a Necessity, Not a "Nice to Have"

My point here in both B-to-B negotiations and personal bargaining sessions, is to present yourself as a necessity, not a frill, an elective or a "like to have." Listen, we all lack confidence in our value, particularly those of us who are pretty darn successful.

My experience representing corporate executives as a lawyer and consulting with individuals and businesses as a negotiation expert is that the better people are the less they think of themselves. I'm not psychologist but I'd diagnose this particular kind of low self-esteem as the driver of some people's success rather than a retardant. "I'm not good enough," so many successful people tell themselves "so I'm going to have to work much harder than the others are doing."

Perfectionism, when not coupled with paralysis, can be a good thing in getting the work done. It's a bad thing, however, when marketing your services to another. Because my consulting services are pretty pricey, my clients all tend to be life-time residents of the top of the bell curve. They've spent so much time among similarly hard-working, bright, well-educated, ambitious and highly educated people that they forget they're among the best.

Many of them, particularly the young ones, continue to see themselves as fungible, expendable, easily replaced by another. As someone who's able to take the long view from the end of a legal career I can tell you without any hesitation that ambitious, talented, dedicated, hard-working people are not widgets in a widget factory. They - you - are not replaceable. They - you - are not a "nice to have." They - you - are a necessity.

So whether you're working for a corporation or representing one in negotiations, you should explore, and be prepared to assert, the unique value you add to any enterprise in which you are a part. That value might arise from your particular skill set, your educational accomplishments, your ability to influence others (charisma), your irreplaceable institutional knowledge or your reputation for reliability.

Even if you're just sitting in a cubicle moving paper and digital files around, understand that the effectiveness and efficiency of the entire organization rests, at least in part, on your dedication, reliability, grace under pressure, and ability to get your job done with a reasonable degree of precision in a reasonable period of time.

Organizations are pyramids and without a strong base, no talented leadership team, no brilliant and highly paid CEO, and no prestigious Board of Directors can keep the firm running.

You are essential. Please don't forget that.