In a workshop recently, someone asked me for a definition of negotiation. I said it's "a conversation leading to good agreement." Turns out that's pretty close to the Dictionary.com definition. But what caught my attention was the derivation of the term:
Negotiation (n.) early 15c., from Old French negociacion "business, trade," and directly from Latin negotiationem (nominative negotiatio) "business, traffic," noun of action from past participle stem of negotiari "carry on business, do business, act as a banker," from negotium "a business, employment, occupation, affair (public or private)," also "difficulty, pains, trouble, labor," literally "lack of leisure," from neg- "not" (see deny) + otium "ease, leisure." The sense expansion from "doing business" to also include "bargaining" about anything took place in Latin.
No wonder we feel paralyzed by negotiation..."Business, not easy."
That is a message we've been running with since the 15th century--and you know that perspective probably goes back to the first time our ancestors had the brilliant idea of trading resources. We humans have been gritting our teeth about an activity that's vital to much of human endeavor and essential to our survival. That's a lot of collective angst.
So you could also say that our collective angst is informing our present experience. Our present choices. And our present choices have a huge impact on our futures.
And yet in our training and consulting experience when women learn the vocabulary and strategies of negotiation and use them intentionally, they (almost to a person) say, "Oh! That was way easier than I thought it would be," and, "It was actually fun." I have a theory about why that is:
Possibility makes us giddy.
When we collect new experiences that disrupt old beliefs, we have nothing less than a survival tactic that gives us a new confidence and a new edge. So, knowledge is power, and when we put the knowledge into action repeatedly, we start building new neural pathways. We start changing our futures. We start having fun.
And all that fun needs to be connected to your strategic plan.
What? You don't have a strategic plan? I know. That's why our new online course, Strategic Conversations is built around building out a 10-step strategic plan. A strategic plan for your career, and a strategic plan for negotiation. And this is how you will lean back into your career bones.
Here's what you'll accomplish in this training program:
- Develop a strategic plan (we’ll give you the template) for any negotiation, and dovetail it with your strategic career plan (even if you think you don’t have one).
- Learn the vocabulary, strategies and tactics of both interest-based negotiation and competitive bargaining so you’ll be armed and dangerous, and at choice in any negotiation setting.
- Apply those strategies by practicing in our weekly calls on salary negotiations, dealing with difficult situations, problem solving, networking with intention, and more.
- Research your market value, understand how to deal with requests for salary history, make an aggressive first offer, and trade across issues.
Strategic Conversations online course starts September 8. Here's who it's for:
- Women who want to ascend to the next level, remove the barriers to success, and deal with the pesky double-bind cultural issues (you know, "don't be bossy, but don't be a wimp" or "don't be selfish, but don't be a doormat").
- Women who are engaged in their work and passionate about it--whether you're an employee or run a business of your own.
- Work teams, affinity groups, women's initiatives and even mastermind groups who know that learning to negotiate is key to your personal and professional aspirations.
For more info, course outline and to register, go here.
- Sept. 8, 15, 22, 29
- 3 P.M. PT | 6 P.M. ET
- Only 20 spaces
"Most people are insecure about the way they negotiate. As part of our ongoing programming for women at Shutterstock, there was overwhelming interest in negotiation training. We realized that across departments, everyone needs to negotiate internally and externally on a daily basis.
She Negotiates stood out as the obvious choice from the many options we explored. Lisa tailored a workshop specifically to our needs. Her deep knowledge and warm demeanor made her an excellent instructor. The highly anticipated workshop filled up quickly, and the roleplaying exercises and variety of strategies provided skills that were immediately applicable. Lisa also provided a structure for us to continue developing independently and to support each other across departments." --Erin McCue, UX Designer, Shutterstock, Inc.