In the third installment of Fearless Asking, we're getting clear on what our negotiation conversation partners want and why. Getting clear on what we want and why as well as what they want and why helps us find common ground and mutual benefit. To do this, ask open ended questions, such as "What are your desired outcomes?" "What are your concerns?" Or "How can we solve this problem so that we can both get what we want?"
Read MoreYou're great at that thing you do. But you get tongue-tied when you go to tell others that you're great at it. What do you have to unlearn so that you can confidently advocate for yourself?
Read MoreIn his excellent book Never Split the Difference, former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss explains there are three basic types of negotiators: Assertive, Analyst and Accommodator. Each has different needs, interpretation of time and silence, strengths and weaknesses.
Read MoreHow gratifying would it be if negotiating for yourself was simply a matter of stomping into your manager's office, slamming down a list of demands and watching your manager fumble for words as they sheepishly acquiesce to all your demands, lest you take your invaluable services elsewhere?
Read MoreNegotiation is life. Your career, your finances, your home life, your love life and your reputation all depend on your ability to negotiate.
Read MoreNo is an opportunity to uncover objections, misunderstandings and fears so you can address them. An opportunity to pivot, reframe and ask again. An opportunity that can lead to a genuine yes and follow-through.
Read MoreWhile most people understand intellectually that there’s a better, more humane and effective way of communicating for mutual benefit, our life experience – specifically our relationship to conflict—often hijacks our emotions at the negotiation table.
Read MoreNegotiators—whether politicians or homebuyers—begin with bold concessions which rapidly shrink the gulf between opposing sides.
Read MoreListen.
We're all somewhat afraid of conflict, at least those of us who are not sociopaths.
Men and women both want their days to pass without having accusations hurled at them, without hearing what a frenemy is saying behind their backs, and without stirring their colleagues or clients to anger.
Women, however, do tend to react to a negotiation challenge somewhat more fearful of an angry response than do men.
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